LONELINESS……..
Today as I sit alone, I think of my family. It has been a difficult struggle day to day. It started when I was a child and my sister was born. My mother’s attention has always been in one direction, my sister. As we have gotten older that attention was zeroed in on my sister’s daughter and granddaughter. I have always been in the background of attention. I would have thought that my 2 sons and 3 grandchildren would have been given a small portion of her love and attention but, unfortunately it hasn’t. As I grow older, as hard as it is to realize the truth, my mother will always direct her feeling away from me. I have always thought that when you have children, no matter how many, your love is equally distributed among ALL of your children. They all have a piece of your heart. Growing up was not easy. At times hurtful. We had a housekeeper who was drawn to my sister. Everything was given to her first. As one gets older you would think those feelings would have been put to rest. But, sometime those feeling only fester into an unsurmountable mass of resentment. Especially when you live, literally, 10 minutes apart and the atmosphere is loneliness……