The Calm Never Came……
They say that when things hit, they all hit at once. Well, I never thought that to be true. But, when it actually happens to you the thoughts that it ACTUALLY happened brings a whole new perspective on life. You can’t take anything for granted. Look at each situation, don’t labor over it, and see where and if it fits into your life. If not, well there is your choice. Make it and live with it. Sometime choices are hard. Think about it for a moment. Do they just affect you? Probably. On Christmas Day my husband’s brother-in-law passed. Now, my husband’s mother just passed. I have been with her son for 27 years. And, we are probably more happy today than we were all those years ago. Something she never recognized. The guard up, the door slammed and the bomb went off. There I was standing in the cold with a woman who would have no part of me. All because I married her son. Throughout the years I have had no feelings for this woman. I couldn’t have cared less about anyone. But, I always “pushed” my husband to call her. And he did. Every holiday, birthday, Mother’s day, whatever day, I would, I WOULD, send her flowers, buy her cards and gifts just so she had something from her son. He never did. But, the feelings were still there. He appreciated what I did for her because he was well aware of both sides feelings for the other. I still did it. Not for her, but for him. She always made it very well know that on her birthday she expected SOMETHING. Recognition. It had better be a card. She did love cards. So, especially on that day, I made sure that the recognition was there…….from her son. I’m not complaining about doing something that as her son he should have, but it was hard thinking of someone who actually dismissed you on day one. Now, that she’s gone I think back at all the time wasted because of a “feeling”. Whatever her feelings were I will never know. But, it’s sad to think of the family time my husband missed. I wish I could turn the clock back, sit her down and tell her of the great 27 years I’ve had with her son. It’s impossible to do. Take her back to our first meeting and let her see for herself what a perfect life we have together. Any Mother would be happy that their child had a life of no yelling, no fighting, just love. Happy love. I can’t turn the clock back. I can’t make her see the wonderful life we have together. And it’s too bad she never realized it was all because of her. Having a great son. But, I certainly can bring just a little more “special” into my husband’s day. Now that she’s gone I can focus on making life a little easier for the most wonderful man who truly did make a great, loving life for a woman who was waiting for a calm that never came………